In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
