Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
