I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
