Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
