He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
