Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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