Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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