Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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