I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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