I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
