birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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