I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
