And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
