did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
