apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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