Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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