Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
