you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I want to be your penis for a week.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
