the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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