Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
