Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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