For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Enjoy the penises
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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