What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
