I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
