By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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