you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
