The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
