Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
