i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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