I'm drive I can fine osifer
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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