You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
