I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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