I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
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I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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