Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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