Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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