Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
