is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
