your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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