Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize