Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
