i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
