talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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