Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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