So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season