just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
