you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
