fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
