Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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