Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize