dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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