11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So many bounce houses so little time
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
