I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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