I want to make a zoo with you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize