Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Holy shit dude........stairs
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
