I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
