He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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