What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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