i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
