I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
