the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
