True but thats because hes a fetus.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
