i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
